Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
tomorrow is promised to no-one...
A friend of mine opened his wife’s underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:
‘This, – he said – isn’t any ordinary package.’
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
“She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion.”
Well, I guess this is it.
He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died.
He turned to me and said:
“Never save something for a special occasion.
Every day in your life is a special occasion”.
I still think those words changed my life.
Now I read more and clean less.
I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.
I spend more time with my family, and less at work.
I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.
I no longer keep anything.
I use crystal glasses every day…
I’ll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.
I don’t save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to..
T he words ‘Someday….’ and ‘ One Day…’ are fading away from my dictionary.
If it’s worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now….
I don’t know what my friend’s wife would have done if she knew she wouldn’t be there the next morning, this nobody can tell.
I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.
I’d like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food.
It’s these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come..
Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one..
If you got this, it’s because someone cares for you and because, probably, there’s someone you care about.
If you’re too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it ‘One of these days’ , remember that ‘One day’ is far away… or might never come…..
No matter if you’re superstitious or not, spend some time reading it. It holds useful messages for the soul.
‘This, – he said – isn’t any ordinary package.’
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
“She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion.”
Well, I guess this is it.
He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died.
He turned to me and said:
“Never save something for a special occasion.
Every day in your life is a special occasion”.
I still think those words changed my life.
Now I read more and clean less.
I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.
I spend more time with my family, and less at work.
I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.
I no longer keep anything.
I use crystal glasses every day…
I’ll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.
I don’t save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to..
T he words ‘Someday….’ and ‘ One Day…’ are fading away from my dictionary.
If it’s worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now….
I don’t know what my friend’s wife would have done if she knew she wouldn’t be there the next morning, this nobody can tell.
I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.
I’d like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food.
It’s these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come..
Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one..
If you got this, it’s because someone cares for you and because, probably, there’s someone you care about.
If you’re too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it ‘One of these days’ , remember that ‘One day’ is far away… or might never come…..
No matter if you’re superstitious or not, spend some time reading it. It holds useful messages for the soul.
tomorrow is promised to no-one...
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage
Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage
My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers.Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had
1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN
HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.
12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.
In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.
MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.
http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/beautiful-advice-from-a-divorced-man-after-37-years-of-marriage/
—
Did you like this article about exploring the love, marriage, and the pursuit and value of women? Make sure to check out The Mason Jar,
a coming of age love story from the male perspective by James Russell
Lingerfelt. The novel helps readers find healing after severed
relationships.The Mason Jar movie is scheduled for pre-production in 2015 and will be directed in the same dramatic and romantic tones as The Notebook (2004) and Pride & Prejudice (2005). Follow him on facebook or twitter for updates.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Commencement speeches
Now for those commencement addresses.
I've picked a few that I thought had some good messages. Hope you enjoy them.
Nih Nai, valedictorian, Moore (Okla.) High School
(Nai delivered his address Saturday night, five days after the tornado destroyed much of his town, to the 412-person Moore Class of 2013.)
"We're damaged, but we survived. We're hurt, but we are resilient. We're graduating, but we are not done with our successes."
John Green, author, Butler University
"You are probably going to be a nobody for a while. You are going to make that journey from strength to weakness, and while it won't be an easy trip, it is a heroic one. For in learning how to be a nobody, you will learn how not to be a jerk. And for the rest of your life, if you are able to remember your hero's journey from college grad to underling, you will be less of a jerk. You will tip well. You will empathize. You will be a mentor, and a generous one.
"Let me submit to you that this is the actual definition of a good life. You want to be the kind of person who other people -- people who may not even be born yet -- will think about ... at their own commencements. I am going to hazard a guess that relatively few of us thought of all the work and love that Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber put into making this moment possible for us. We may be taught that the people to admire and emulate are actors and musicians and sports heroes and professionally famous people, but when we look at the people who have helped us, the people who actually change actual lives, relatively few of them are publicly celebrated. We do not think of the money they had, but of their generosity. We do not think of how beautiful or powerful they were, but how willing they were to sacrifice for us -- so willing, at times, that we might not have even noticed that they were making sacrifices."
Ben Bernanke, Federal Reserve System chairman, Bard College
"Innovation, almost by definition, involves ideas that no one has yet had, which means that forecasts of future technological change can be, and often are, wildly wrong. A safe prediction, I think, is that human innovation and creativity will continue; it is part of our very nature. Another prediction, just as safe, is that people will nevertheless continue to forecast the end of innovation. The history of technological innovation and economic development teaches us that change is the only constant. During your working lives, you will have to reinvent yourselves many times. Success and satisfaction will not come from mastering a fixed body of knowledge but from constant adaptation and creativity in a rapidly changing world."
Cal Ripken, baseball player, University of Maryland
"When my dad was in his development role in the minor leagues with the Orioles, he coined a phrase that said, 'We try to put 40-year-old heads on 20-year-old bodies. It just doesn't work.' What that meant was that dad and the other coaches tried to implant all the years of their own playing experiences into the young players' heads. But that wisdom can't be simply transferred; it also has to be experienced and earned by each individual. Sorry, folks: there are no shortcuts on this one.
"Now let me turn to what I consider the key to taking talent and skill to the highest level. It's attitude. Are you positive or negative as you approach life's challenges? When I first started playing professional baseball, I quickly dismissed all this attitude talk. I thought it was a waste of time. All that mattered to me was getting my reps in practice and how I did in the games. The games were not contests between two teams -- they were my individual exams. If I got three hits and we lost, I was happy. If we won and I went oh-for, I was mad. I was obsessed with my stats. They were my ticket to the show. I couldn't stand the umpires, because from my view, every mistake they made would cost me. I had problems with the official scorekeepers because their decisions cost me hits and added errors to my record.
"But even with this attitude, I was moving up in the organization. Then it hit me -- in fact, quite literally. I got hit with a 94 mile per hour pitch in the side of my helmet in Baltimore. I was struggling mightily in the early part of my rookie season, and I was miserable. That shot to the head knocked some sense into me. Earlier in the week, my veteran teammate and All-Star Ken Singleton had pulled me aside and showed me a tape of me throwing a helmet and just said, 'We don't do that here. That's not what it's all about. That's the wrong attitude.' So after getting beaned and while laying on the X-ray table, I started to think more about what Ken said. The conclusion I came to was that it wasn't all about me, and the world certainly was not my enemy. I realized that I was affected with a negative attitude. That ball striking me helped flip the switch, and I made a choice to have a positive attitude. My talent and skill had supported me to that point. My change in attitude helped me achieve being named Rookie of the Year that year and MVP the next. As I continued playing the game I loved, I stopped blaming. I was accountable. I was more in control. My rational mind started working instead of my reactive mind. I started finding solutions before they became issues.
"When you truly have a positive attitude, you capture that energy of what can be accomplished as opposed to why it can't be done. Your failures even become valuable experiences. Where would the world be without Thomas Edison's failures and his positive attitude in dealing with them? He himself said, 'I failed my way to success.' ''
Michelle Obama, First Lady, Bowie State (Md.) University
"When it comes to getting an education, too many of our young people just can't be bothered. Today, instead of walking miles every day to school, they're sitting on couches for hours playing video games, watching TV. Instead of dreaming of being a teacher or a lawyer or a business leader, they're fantasizing about being a baller or a rapper. Right now, one in three African American students are dropping out of high school. Only one in five African Americans between the ages of 25 and 29 has gotten a college degree. One in five. We need to once again fight to educate ourselves and our children like our lives depend on it, because they do.
"When it comes to your own kids, if you don't like what they're watching on TV, turn it off. If you don't like the video games they're playing, take them away. Take a stand against the media that elevates today's celebrity gossip instead of the serious issues of our time. Take a stand against the culture that glorifies instant gratification instead of hard work and lasting success. And as my husband has said often, please stand up and reject the slander that says a black child with a book is trying to act white. Reject that.''
Julie Andrews, actor/author, Colorado University
"I've been thinking about today, and what I could say to you. It suddenly occurred to me that one of the last speeches you will hear in college will be this one. That scared me half to death. I mean, what can I tell you? I never finished high school. I never, sadly, attended college. As a youngster, I was traveling the length and breadth of the British Isles, singing my head off in the Music Halls -- a theater brat, with a freaky four-and-a-half-octave range. You might assume that after a life in theater and film, I wouldn't be nervous in a situation like this, but I can assure you that I am or was, before your very warm welcome. Today is about celebration, but despite that, you might just also be feeling a little nervous -- and, perhaps even fearful. Believe me, feeling nervous is par for the course.
"I remember saying once to my husband, Blake, on the eve of my return to Broadway after a 35-year absence, 'You know, I'm really feeling VERY frightened about this,' and I began to tear up. He simply replied, 'Darling, did you actually expect to feel anything else?' I remembered -- yet again -- that fear is a part of life. The trick is to recognize it and then press on anyway. In fact, the real trick is to stop focusing on oneself and start focusing on others. There was a time in my late 20s when I worried all the time what audiences thought. Will they like me? Am I up to par? And it suddenly dawned on to me that everyone in the audience had paid good money to come see a show they really wanted to see, and possibly, they were there after a day of dealing with a lot of stress. Maybe it was tax time, perhaps someone had a family member who was ill, or had a fight with a loved one -- I could think of a hundred scenarios. I realized that I was in a position to brighten their day, to make a difference, to give them three hours of surcease, of transcendence, and hopefully, joy. From that moment on, I began to develop a mindset of giving. I stopped looking inward, I began to grow up and I started looking outward, with an eye toward making a difference wherever and whenever I could.
"Today, I invite you to start looking at life the same way.
"There are so many opportunities for giving in this world. Don't engage in random acts of kindness; engage in planned acts of kindness. Use your knowledge and your heart to stand up for those who can't stand. Speak for those who can't speak.''
Jon Lovett, former presidential speech writer, Pitzer (Calif.) College
"The problem I am going to describe involves a bad word. Not the worst word, but a bad word, though I've made sure that I only have to say it now and then one more time at the end. So if you want to distract any little kids for a second, please do so. One of the greatest threats we face is, simply put, bulls--t. We are drowning in it. We are drowning in partisan rhetoric that is just true enough not to be a lie; in industry-sponsored research; in social media's imitation of human connection; in legalese and corporate double-speak. It infects every facet of public life, corrupting our discourse, wrecking our trust in major institutions, lowering our standards for the truth, making it harder to achieve anything. And it wends its way into our private lives as well, changing even how we interact with one another: the way casual acquaintances will say, 'I love you;' the way we describe whatever thing as 'the best thing ever;' the way we are blurring the lines between friends and strangers. ... Life tests our willingness, in ways large and small, to tell the truth. And I believe that so much of your future and our collective future depends on your doing so. So I'm going to give you three honest, practical lessons about cutting the BS.
"Number one: Don't cover for your inexperience. You are smart, talented, educated, conscientious, untainted by the mistakes and conventional wisdom of the past. But you are also very annoying. Because there is a lot that you don't know that you don't know. Your parents are nodding. You've been annoying them for years. Why do you think they paid for college? So that you might finally, at long last, annoy someone else.
"You have to be confident in your potential, and aware of your inexperience. And that's really tough. There are moments when you'll have a different point of view because you're a fresh set of eyes, because you don't care how it's been done before, because you're sharp and creative, because there is another way, a better way. But there will also be moments when you have a different point of view because you're wrong, because you're 23 and you should shut up and listen to somebody who's been around the block. It's hard to tell the difference. Me, I love getting this one wrong. I got it wrong a ton when I started out as a speechwriter to Hillary Clinton. I got it wrong again when I became a presidential speechwriter.
"But there is another side to this coin, which brings me to lesson number two: Sometimes you're going to be inexperienced, naïve, untested and totally right. And then, in those moments, you have to make a choice: is this a time to speak up, or hang back? I worked for then-Senator Clinton during her campaign for president -- and I believed in her, still do. But I vividly remember feeling like things weren't right in that campaign; a lot of the young staffers felt that way. It wasn't a secret that there were problems in how the campaign was run. The campaign pollster for example, rolled out so many slogans it was impossible to keep track. Here's a sample:
Let the Conversation Begin
Ready for Change, Ready to Lead
Working for Change, Working for You
"... And then, my favorite: Big Challenges, Real Solutions: Time to Pick a President. Which he had printed on the side of a bus, but it was basically too small to read.
"So, I'm putting these slogans into speeches and I look over at an Obama campaign rally on cable news and they have one slogan. It's just the word CHANGE in big letters. That seemed better. But I was timid; and a lot of us just assumed, or wanted to assume, that more experienced people must know what they're doing. But that wasn't true. So the campaign ended, my candidate lost, and I ended up as a presidential speechwriter anyway, which was cool. But the lesson I drew from that campaign, other than the fact that it's always a mistake to run against Barack Obama, is the subway rule: 'If you see something, say something.' And I've tried to honor that ever since.''
Bud Selig, commissioner of baseball, St. Norbert (Wisc.) College
"The Braves moved to Atlanta after the 1965 season, leaving many heartbroken fans in Milwaukee behind. I shared the sadness that swept our community. But I have never been one to sit back and wallow instead of searching for a solution, and the disappointment I once felt gave way to a sense of determination. While I was only 30 years old and the odds were tremendously stacked against us, I decided to do what I could to bring a big league club back to my hometown. My dream was to make Milwaukee and Wisconsin feel Major League once again. Trying and failing was one thing; quitting, however, was unacceptable. There were many disappointments along the way, but there was never defeat. All of our efforts became worthwhile on the night of March 31, 1970, when the American League's Milwaukee Brewers were born. One of my most prized mementos that crystallized this long effort came from a man who made his name right here, the great Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi. He sent the first telegram I received on the morning of April 1st, 1970, that to this day is framed and hanging in my office, which said, 'Congratulations on finally obtaining the team after so many years. I wish you great success.' With this example in mind, I urge each of you to chase your dreams. ... You have the ability to be a force for change.''
Brian Williams, anchor/managing editor, NBC Nightly News, Elon University
"Break the cycle of entitlement and expectations. [Applause.] Hear that applause? Those are older people. And here's this generational shift that led to this groundswell of applause. All the people that applauded, we were basically under the assumption we were losers unless proven otherwise in this country. It was just a grinding existence as we were coming up. You guys came along a little different. 'Hey Mom and Dad, I breathed today!' And we would order the ice cream cake. That's just a generational mindset shift. It wasn't your fault. We did it because we just felt, 'We can't let them fail at anything.' So our educational system and the self-esteem and self-celebration created by a generation not your own, let's just check it and be aware of it as we go forth into the social realm and jobs. Same with the use of first person. I know it is the basis of social media. My worst fear is that selflessness is perhaps what made us better in the past. I'm genuinely sorry that the focus on self has meant haters in your life that we've all had to deal with, with no barrier to entry. You are the first generation for which hate via a send button is assumed, it's ubiquitous, it's expected and its corrosive effects are baked into you. That's not fair.
"You are the first generation with the kind of routine obsession of pouring over imagery, pictures of yourself. Hundreds perhaps. Thousands of them that you feel best represent you to the outside world. Where do you look the best? Where do you look even better? What's any of that going to mean long term? We have changed. We have gone off on our own with our devices. In just the course of one generation, and we haven't put our arms around what this change means yet. We call our online world a community, but that just makes us feel better. It's not. This is: people to your left and right with hopes and dreams and fears. You may enter into a family with anyone here. You may fight a war with anyone here. That is a definition of a community. So, stop yourself before you say something to your followers. Consider being a leader instead.''
Dalai Lama, Tibetan promoter of world peace, Tulane University
"I've had no modern education, so my knowledge compared to yours amounts to zero, but I have observed that many of the problems we face today are of our own creation. Because we created them, we must also have the ability to reduce or overcome them. You young people are educated, fresh and bright; you have the future in front of you. My generation belongs to the 20th century and our century is over, we are almost ready to say goodbye. The 20th century saw many great achievements, but it was also an era of bloodshed. The world did not become a better place as a result of that violence. Those of you who are less than 30 years old, who truly belong to the 21st century, please think on a more global level. Try to create a more peaceful, more compassionate world by taking into account the welfare of others."
Enda Kenny, prime minister of Ireland, Boston College.
"Graduates, this is your time. Be not afraid. Today, then, you have reached what we call in Irish Ceann Scríbe. Turas amháin déanta, turas eile ás bhúr gcomhair amach. One journey completed, another directly ahead.
"Today then: Let go, let fly, forget. You've listened long enough. Now strike your note."
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/nfl/news/20130527/brian-urlacher-peter-king-monday-morning-quarterback/?sct=hp_t12_a5&eref=sihp#all
I've picked a few that I thought had some good messages. Hope you enjoy them.
Nih Nai, valedictorian, Moore (Okla.) High School
(Nai delivered his address Saturday night, five days after the tornado destroyed much of his town, to the 412-person Moore Class of 2013.)
"We're damaged, but we survived. We're hurt, but we are resilient. We're graduating, but we are not done with our successes."
John Green, author, Butler University
"You are probably going to be a nobody for a while. You are going to make that journey from strength to weakness, and while it won't be an easy trip, it is a heroic one. For in learning how to be a nobody, you will learn how not to be a jerk. And for the rest of your life, if you are able to remember your hero's journey from college grad to underling, you will be less of a jerk. You will tip well. You will empathize. You will be a mentor, and a generous one.
"Let me submit to you that this is the actual definition of a good life. You want to be the kind of person who other people -- people who may not even be born yet -- will think about ... at their own commencements. I am going to hazard a guess that relatively few of us thought of all the work and love that Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber put into making this moment possible for us. We may be taught that the people to admire and emulate are actors and musicians and sports heroes and professionally famous people, but when we look at the people who have helped us, the people who actually change actual lives, relatively few of them are publicly celebrated. We do not think of the money they had, but of their generosity. We do not think of how beautiful or powerful they were, but how willing they were to sacrifice for us -- so willing, at times, that we might not have even noticed that they were making sacrifices."
Ben Bernanke, Federal Reserve System chairman, Bard College
"Innovation, almost by definition, involves ideas that no one has yet had, which means that forecasts of future technological change can be, and often are, wildly wrong. A safe prediction, I think, is that human innovation and creativity will continue; it is part of our very nature. Another prediction, just as safe, is that people will nevertheless continue to forecast the end of innovation. The history of technological innovation and economic development teaches us that change is the only constant. During your working lives, you will have to reinvent yourselves many times. Success and satisfaction will not come from mastering a fixed body of knowledge but from constant adaptation and creativity in a rapidly changing world."
Cal Ripken, baseball player, University of Maryland
"When my dad was in his development role in the minor leagues with the Orioles, he coined a phrase that said, 'We try to put 40-year-old heads on 20-year-old bodies. It just doesn't work.' What that meant was that dad and the other coaches tried to implant all the years of their own playing experiences into the young players' heads. But that wisdom can't be simply transferred; it also has to be experienced and earned by each individual. Sorry, folks: there are no shortcuts on this one.
"Now let me turn to what I consider the key to taking talent and skill to the highest level. It's attitude. Are you positive or negative as you approach life's challenges? When I first started playing professional baseball, I quickly dismissed all this attitude talk. I thought it was a waste of time. All that mattered to me was getting my reps in practice and how I did in the games. The games were not contests between two teams -- they were my individual exams. If I got three hits and we lost, I was happy. If we won and I went oh-for, I was mad. I was obsessed with my stats. They were my ticket to the show. I couldn't stand the umpires, because from my view, every mistake they made would cost me. I had problems with the official scorekeepers because their decisions cost me hits and added errors to my record.
"But even with this attitude, I was moving up in the organization. Then it hit me -- in fact, quite literally. I got hit with a 94 mile per hour pitch in the side of my helmet in Baltimore. I was struggling mightily in the early part of my rookie season, and I was miserable. That shot to the head knocked some sense into me. Earlier in the week, my veteran teammate and All-Star Ken Singleton had pulled me aside and showed me a tape of me throwing a helmet and just said, 'We don't do that here. That's not what it's all about. That's the wrong attitude.' So after getting beaned and while laying on the X-ray table, I started to think more about what Ken said. The conclusion I came to was that it wasn't all about me, and the world certainly was not my enemy. I realized that I was affected with a negative attitude. That ball striking me helped flip the switch, and I made a choice to have a positive attitude. My talent and skill had supported me to that point. My change in attitude helped me achieve being named Rookie of the Year that year and MVP the next. As I continued playing the game I loved, I stopped blaming. I was accountable. I was more in control. My rational mind started working instead of my reactive mind. I started finding solutions before they became issues.
"When you truly have a positive attitude, you capture that energy of what can be accomplished as opposed to why it can't be done. Your failures even become valuable experiences. Where would the world be without Thomas Edison's failures and his positive attitude in dealing with them? He himself said, 'I failed my way to success.' ''
"When it comes to getting an education, too many of our young people just can't be bothered. Today, instead of walking miles every day to school, they're sitting on couches for hours playing video games, watching TV. Instead of dreaming of being a teacher or a lawyer or a business leader, they're fantasizing about being a baller or a rapper. Right now, one in three African American students are dropping out of high school. Only one in five African Americans between the ages of 25 and 29 has gotten a college degree. One in five. We need to once again fight to educate ourselves and our children like our lives depend on it, because they do.
"When it comes to your own kids, if you don't like what they're watching on TV, turn it off. If you don't like the video games they're playing, take them away. Take a stand against the media that elevates today's celebrity gossip instead of the serious issues of our time. Take a stand against the culture that glorifies instant gratification instead of hard work and lasting success. And as my husband has said often, please stand up and reject the slander that says a black child with a book is trying to act white. Reject that.''
Julie Andrews, actor/author, Colorado University
"I've been thinking about today, and what I could say to you. It suddenly occurred to me that one of the last speeches you will hear in college will be this one. That scared me half to death. I mean, what can I tell you? I never finished high school. I never, sadly, attended college. As a youngster, I was traveling the length and breadth of the British Isles, singing my head off in the Music Halls -- a theater brat, with a freaky four-and-a-half-octave range. You might assume that after a life in theater and film, I wouldn't be nervous in a situation like this, but I can assure you that I am or was, before your very warm welcome. Today is about celebration, but despite that, you might just also be feeling a little nervous -- and, perhaps even fearful. Believe me, feeling nervous is par for the course.
"I remember saying once to my husband, Blake, on the eve of my return to Broadway after a 35-year absence, 'You know, I'm really feeling VERY frightened about this,' and I began to tear up. He simply replied, 'Darling, did you actually expect to feel anything else?' I remembered -- yet again -- that fear is a part of life. The trick is to recognize it and then press on anyway. In fact, the real trick is to stop focusing on oneself and start focusing on others. There was a time in my late 20s when I worried all the time what audiences thought. Will they like me? Am I up to par? And it suddenly dawned on to me that everyone in the audience had paid good money to come see a show they really wanted to see, and possibly, they were there after a day of dealing with a lot of stress. Maybe it was tax time, perhaps someone had a family member who was ill, or had a fight with a loved one -- I could think of a hundred scenarios. I realized that I was in a position to brighten their day, to make a difference, to give them three hours of surcease, of transcendence, and hopefully, joy. From that moment on, I began to develop a mindset of giving. I stopped looking inward, I began to grow up and I started looking outward, with an eye toward making a difference wherever and whenever I could.
"Today, I invite you to start looking at life the same way.
"There are so many opportunities for giving in this world. Don't engage in random acts of kindness; engage in planned acts of kindness. Use your knowledge and your heart to stand up for those who can't stand. Speak for those who can't speak.''
Jon Lovett, former presidential speech writer, Pitzer (Calif.) College
"The problem I am going to describe involves a bad word. Not the worst word, but a bad word, though I've made sure that I only have to say it now and then one more time at the end. So if you want to distract any little kids for a second, please do so. One of the greatest threats we face is, simply put, bulls--t. We are drowning in it. We are drowning in partisan rhetoric that is just true enough not to be a lie; in industry-sponsored research; in social media's imitation of human connection; in legalese and corporate double-speak. It infects every facet of public life, corrupting our discourse, wrecking our trust in major institutions, lowering our standards for the truth, making it harder to achieve anything. And it wends its way into our private lives as well, changing even how we interact with one another: the way casual acquaintances will say, 'I love you;' the way we describe whatever thing as 'the best thing ever;' the way we are blurring the lines between friends and strangers. ... Life tests our willingness, in ways large and small, to tell the truth. And I believe that so much of your future and our collective future depends on your doing so. So I'm going to give you three honest, practical lessons about cutting the BS.
"Number one: Don't cover for your inexperience. You are smart, talented, educated, conscientious, untainted by the mistakes and conventional wisdom of the past. But you are also very annoying. Because there is a lot that you don't know that you don't know. Your parents are nodding. You've been annoying them for years. Why do you think they paid for college? So that you might finally, at long last, annoy someone else.
"You have to be confident in your potential, and aware of your inexperience. And that's really tough. There are moments when you'll have a different point of view because you're a fresh set of eyes, because you don't care how it's been done before, because you're sharp and creative, because there is another way, a better way. But there will also be moments when you have a different point of view because you're wrong, because you're 23 and you should shut up and listen to somebody who's been around the block. It's hard to tell the difference. Me, I love getting this one wrong. I got it wrong a ton when I started out as a speechwriter to Hillary Clinton. I got it wrong again when I became a presidential speechwriter.
"But there is another side to this coin, which brings me to lesson number two: Sometimes you're going to be inexperienced, naïve, untested and totally right. And then, in those moments, you have to make a choice: is this a time to speak up, or hang back? I worked for then-Senator Clinton during her campaign for president -- and I believed in her, still do. But I vividly remember feeling like things weren't right in that campaign; a lot of the young staffers felt that way. It wasn't a secret that there were problems in how the campaign was run. The campaign pollster for example, rolled out so many slogans it was impossible to keep track. Here's a sample:
Let the Conversation Begin
Ready for Change, Ready to Lead
Working for Change, Working for You
"... And then, my favorite: Big Challenges, Real Solutions: Time to Pick a President. Which he had printed on the side of a bus, but it was basically too small to read.
"So, I'm putting these slogans into speeches and I look over at an Obama campaign rally on cable news and they have one slogan. It's just the word CHANGE in big letters. That seemed better. But I was timid; and a lot of us just assumed, or wanted to assume, that more experienced people must know what they're doing. But that wasn't true. So the campaign ended, my candidate lost, and I ended up as a presidential speechwriter anyway, which was cool. But the lesson I drew from that campaign, other than the fact that it's always a mistake to run against Barack Obama, is the subway rule: 'If you see something, say something.' And I've tried to honor that ever since.''
Bud Selig, commissioner of baseball, St. Norbert (Wisc.) College
"The Braves moved to Atlanta after the 1965 season, leaving many heartbroken fans in Milwaukee behind. I shared the sadness that swept our community. But I have never been one to sit back and wallow instead of searching for a solution, and the disappointment I once felt gave way to a sense of determination. While I was only 30 years old and the odds were tremendously stacked against us, I decided to do what I could to bring a big league club back to my hometown. My dream was to make Milwaukee and Wisconsin feel Major League once again. Trying and failing was one thing; quitting, however, was unacceptable. There were many disappointments along the way, but there was never defeat. All of our efforts became worthwhile on the night of March 31, 1970, when the American League's Milwaukee Brewers were born. One of my most prized mementos that crystallized this long effort came from a man who made his name right here, the great Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi. He sent the first telegram I received on the morning of April 1st, 1970, that to this day is framed and hanging in my office, which said, 'Congratulations on finally obtaining the team after so many years. I wish you great success.' With this example in mind, I urge each of you to chase your dreams. ... You have the ability to be a force for change.''
Brian Williams, anchor/managing editor, NBC Nightly News, Elon University
"Break the cycle of entitlement and expectations. [Applause.] Hear that applause? Those are older people. And here's this generational shift that led to this groundswell of applause. All the people that applauded, we were basically under the assumption we were losers unless proven otherwise in this country. It was just a grinding existence as we were coming up. You guys came along a little different. 'Hey Mom and Dad, I breathed today!' And we would order the ice cream cake. That's just a generational mindset shift. It wasn't your fault. We did it because we just felt, 'We can't let them fail at anything.' So our educational system and the self-esteem and self-celebration created by a generation not your own, let's just check it and be aware of it as we go forth into the social realm and jobs. Same with the use of first person. I know it is the basis of social media. My worst fear is that selflessness is perhaps what made us better in the past. I'm genuinely sorry that the focus on self has meant haters in your life that we've all had to deal with, with no barrier to entry. You are the first generation for which hate via a send button is assumed, it's ubiquitous, it's expected and its corrosive effects are baked into you. That's not fair.
"You are the first generation with the kind of routine obsession of pouring over imagery, pictures of yourself. Hundreds perhaps. Thousands of them that you feel best represent you to the outside world. Where do you look the best? Where do you look even better? What's any of that going to mean long term? We have changed. We have gone off on our own with our devices. In just the course of one generation, and we haven't put our arms around what this change means yet. We call our online world a community, but that just makes us feel better. It's not. This is: people to your left and right with hopes and dreams and fears. You may enter into a family with anyone here. You may fight a war with anyone here. That is a definition of a community. So, stop yourself before you say something to your followers. Consider being a leader instead.''
"I've had no modern education, so my knowledge compared to yours amounts to zero, but I have observed that many of the problems we face today are of our own creation. Because we created them, we must also have the ability to reduce or overcome them. You young people are educated, fresh and bright; you have the future in front of you. My generation belongs to the 20th century and our century is over, we are almost ready to say goodbye. The 20th century saw many great achievements, but it was also an era of bloodshed. The world did not become a better place as a result of that violence. Those of you who are less than 30 years old, who truly belong to the 21st century, please think on a more global level. Try to create a more peaceful, more compassionate world by taking into account the welfare of others."
Enda Kenny, prime minister of Ireland, Boston College.
"Graduates, this is your time. Be not afraid. Today, then, you have reached what we call in Irish Ceann Scríbe. Turas amháin déanta, turas eile ás bhúr gcomhair amach. One journey completed, another directly ahead.
"Today then: Let go, let fly, forget. You've listened long enough. Now strike your note."
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/nfl/news/20130527/brian-urlacher-peter-king-monday-morning-quarterback/?sct=hp_t12_a5&eref=sihp#all
Friday, April 26, 2013
Best Quotes Ever
Best Quotes Ever-The World Best Quotes
I told them they didn't understand life
Never apologize for saying what you feel best quotes
The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie
http://sayingimages.com/the-world-best-quotes-ever/
“I'm
selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of
control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my
worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn
Monroe
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.” - William W. Purkey
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.” - William W. Purkey
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”― Mae West
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”― Elbert Hubbard
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”― Mahatma Gandhi
“I've
learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what
you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”― Maya
Angelou
“To
be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something
else is the greatest accomplishment.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”― Oscar Wilde
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”― Bil Keane
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”― Friedrich Nietzsche
God does not create a lock without its key & God does not give you problems without its solutions! TRUST HIM.
Life
is too short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday, it will
definitely destroy your wonderful today and ruin your great tomorrow.
Mistake is a single page of life but relation is a complete book. So don’t lose a full book for a single page.
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